When All You Want To Do Is Cry...

Like many women, I tend to get extremely emotional (as in, more than normal) once a month. And every time this happens, I NEVER remember why everything seems so horrible. Of course, I realize it after I have engaged in heaving sobs and an obligatory "my life sucks" cry-fest. And normally, the tiniest thing will set me off. I normally look back and think, "yes, Rebecca, your life does indeed suck because you burned the bottom of the pan or dropped and broke one of your many wine glasses". It's insignificant things like that that can turn me into a blubbering mess.

Today, however, my crying was a little more substantial than my run-of-the-mill 'I forgot to put my mail in the mailbox before the mailman came' tears. After becoming increasingly frustrated with my current state of unemployment and uncertainty, I just lost it.

This all sucks. It really, REALLY sucks. I can't explain to you how much I loved my job. I loved my school, my co-workers, my kids. And now, just like it's been for the past 2 years, I have to move on. I don't get to see my kiddos grow throughout the years as they move from grade to grade. I'm deprived of their smiling faces when they see me in the hallway. I'm back to the depressing, daily job search that so frequently leaves me burned out and cursing my choice of career (even though I know I chose the right one). I'm now writing blog posts with tears streaming down my face because I'm just so extremely sad.

I'm contemplating changing the title of this post to AN OCEAN OF TEARS.

But...

I have a place to live. I have clothes to wear. I have food in my fridge. I have air conditioning. I have a car to drive. I have an amazing husband. I have the best family I could ever ask for. I have my life. And I have my Savior.

It's not always easy to put things into perspective. I remember how my dad would tell my sister and I that all the time while growing up. Sometimes, it angered me. After all, as humans, we sometimes want that "woe is me" persona because we just want others to acknowledge our crappy situations. And to an extent, it's okay to confide our frustrations with each other. But, as Christians, we must remember that God's got this. And Lord, I'm trying.

At our wedding, we had the entirety of Romans 12 read. Yes, it's long. But it's one of my all-time favorite passages of the Bible. And today, I am reminding myself of Romans 12:12, "Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer."

It's direct. It doesn't end with, "and then cry all you want because you think your life sucks". It's just another one of the MANY reminders from Jesus to trust him. Which is exactly what I am going to do.

Recipe: Ritzy Chicken

Let me just say: SWOON. That's what I am doing over this lovely recipe.

Just look at that yumminess. I'm still swooning. And I'm full. You'd probably like to know the recipe, but let me start with a story:

When I was a teenager, I adored Robin Jones Gunn's Christy Miller Series. These books were life changing for me. This kick-started my love of Christian fiction, but it also provided me with an excellent example and a friend (of the book lover's sort). Just like Christy, I started writing letters to my future husband (even though I didn't know he was) and I gave them to my husband, Dennis, the night before our wedding. It was super special and it's something I will share with any daughters that we have (as well as these books). Now, you need to understand these books were written in the late 80s-early 90s. So I never expected that now, in 2014, when I was a newlywed, Gunn would write a new series featuring Christy! Christy and Todd: The Married Years! Though I have just started this lovely book, I am SO excited to meet up with Christy after all of these years. And, this is where the idea of Ritzy Chicken came from (Christy is making it in the beginning of the book). So, as a new wife who is building a list of her husband's favorite recipes, I decided to try this out. And, success! He loved it, I loved it, and the Miller family is happy (and quite full)! So here is the recipe:

Ritzy Chicken Casserole (Courtesy of Diana Rattray: About.com Southern Food)

Ingredients:

·       Ritz crackers (2 sleeves)

·       1 can cream of chicken soup

·       1 cup sour cream

·       1/2 cup chicken broth

·       4 to 6 boneless chicken breast halves, cooked

·       4 ounces melted butter

Preparation:

Crumble one sleeve of Ritz crackers in the bottom of a 2 to 2 1/2-quart casserole dish. Drizzle half of the melted butter over the crackers. Mix chicken with soup, sour cream, and broth. Pour over crackers. Crush the remaining sleeve of crackers over the chicken mixture. Drizzle the remaining melted butter over the crackers. Bake at 300° for 30 to 40 minutes, until hot and bubbly. 

Above recipe taken from: http://southernfood.about.com/od/chickencasseroles/r/bl90911q.htm

This was extremely easy to make. We liked it with rice, though next time, I am going to try it with noodles (I just love egg noodles). And the green beans were a perfect veggie accompaniment! Try this! Let me know what you think, though I'm pretty sure you'll be swooning, too. ;) 

A (Not-So-Secret) Secret

I want a puppy.

I have some work to do to convince Dennis that he wants one, too. Deep down, he does. He just doesn't know it yet. ;)

The Woes of a Headache Sufferer

I woke up today with a headache. It's 10:28pm and I am about to go to bed. Guess what? I still have a headache. I feel like I've tried it all today and nothing has worked: ibuprofen, acetaminophen, hot cloth, water, hot shower, cool shower, more ibuprofen, more acetaminophen, rest, naps, etc. Nothing worked. I feel like I've lost a complete day because of this! I suffer from frequent headaches, but normally they don't last ALL day. And normally, one of the things in my list will work.

I think the most depressing part of this headache is that I couldn't tackle any of my summer reading. I am currently reading Save the Date by Mary Kay Andrews. Loving it. I haven't read any of her books before, but I think I may need to add them all to my ever-growing "To-Read" list on Goodreads.com! Perhaps I can tackle a good chunk of this book tomorrow on the drive to my cousin's graduation party!

Well, since blogging isn't helping my headache either, I guess my only option now is sleep. Night, world.

Music: For King & Country

I think that I need to listen to this song every morning when I wake up, again in the car, while doing housework, while working out, before hanging out with friends, before bed... and the list could go on and on. It's that good. It's like a list of everything I need to do. And yet, at the end of the list, it is summed up with one command: fix my eyes on You. When my eyes are fixed on Jesus, there is nothing - and I truly mean nothing - that can push me off course.

Seriously, I just love this song.

A Smidgen of Uncertainty

Incorrect. That title should have read, "A Whole LOT of Uncertainty". But isn't that what always happens in life? You finally feel as if you have taken a teensy bit of control when out of nowhere, that feeling is ripped right out of your tightly gripped hands. Well, folks, welcome to the life of a teacher in Michigan. Where "chaos" describes my current situation. I am back to the exact same position that I was in last summer: the joy of job searching. 

It's officially summer vacation and I can't even fully enjoy the season. I am back to the once-a-day (or more) perusal of k12jobspot.com. I find myself frequently lamenting my choice of career. And, I am continually slapping myself in the face whenever I think the thought, "Next year in my classroom..." because who knows if I will even have a classroom. 

I so loved my job. Which makes this even more difficult. 

Grr.

That about sums up this smidgen of life.